I'm really struggling to come up with a theme for today's post. I spent the day in Bangkok, in the heat. I went to the Chatuchak market, which was actually pretty good - I got plenty of small gifts for my family members. And then I took a nap and pretty much messed around till evening.

So what do I write about on a day like this? 🤔

It is weird to be going back to Prague in just a few days, after spending 6 months in Thailand. I really don't know what to expect. It also feels like I'll be closing a chapter in my life by going back. But I'd like to believe that the ideas and learnings from it will absolutely live on. I also don't really know what I'll be returning to, and I might have to again deal with some 'unpleasant matters'. I'll see.

One of the premises of this daily blogging was that I will be sharing my thoughts, and thinking back on how it turned out, I haven't really been doing that. Let's try to change that with today's post.

One of my biggest struggles for a very long time has been that I almost constantly feel as if I'm not really getting enough done. I don't fully understand why is that and what to do about it, but I know the problem is two-fold:

First, I'm assuming that my expectations are not fully realistic. I get that. And lately, I've been trying to cut myself some slack. But at the same time, I also know that there is an objective truth to that - I really am not doing quite enough. My productivity doesn't really match my goals, and it's frustrating.

The obvious question is: what should I do about it? I really need to find ways to start getting more done. Everything always takes so long. There's always something that's diminishing my productivity. Part of me wishes just to go somewhere in a secluded mountain cottage with an internet connection, close myself off and work for two weeks straight with zero distractions. And who knows, I might actually do that.

But for the more long-term solution, I know I need to find a better rhythm, better regime. I need a long-term sustainable change, both in my approach to it and in my mindset.

Another angle which I discovered recently is that I might be asking for too much from my work. I can't expect it to fulfill every need I have. I think I should actually do more of the 'other' stuff, mostly exercising and some hobbies / meet ups. Focus on actually making myself happy. The heightened productivity might come as a result of that.

If I really learned something in the past years, it's that the sheer amount of hours spent working is not the only variable. It's much more important how focused and effective those hours are. And actually working more hours can be detrimental in the grand scheme of things.

Another angle that I came up with in the recent months, and which was unintuitive at first but makes total sense when you think about it - it's crucial to be able to recognize when things are going well. When I accomplish something good, be it a feature in Timelines or simply some good progress on development, I need to be able to recognize that, and be grateful for it. It's not healthy to always be reproaching what I'm getting done while ignoring what's actually working well.

Lastly, I realized in recent weeks that there are likely some underlying long-term psychological reasons for this as well. And to fully overcome this feeling, I will need to dig them up and resolve them. They might not make up significant part of the problem, but they're definitely one of the key pieces of the puzzle.

Maybe I sound a bit crazy, I know. But the struggle is real. Do you also feel like this sometimes? And what's your way of dealing with it? I'd love to hear about it in the comments below!

This is Day 13 of the 14-day blogging challenge.